Our Daughter
by BellaBEARx
Summary: Sixteen year old Jessica Hogan celebrated her birthday with only a call from her father & nothing from her mother. Jessica wants to know why she hasn't heard from her mother in almost a year and a half. Read&Review. I hope you like it!
1. Prologe

_They had been arguing back and forth for the past half hour, about everything and anything._

_"You know Lindsay, you've made it blatantly obvious that you don't need me here, obviously you don't love me anymore and don't want me around, maybe I should just leave!!" he yelled. Lindsay equally as mad fired back._

_"Fine leave! Because you obviously don't want to be here, you obviously don't want me anymore!" She yelled back._

_"Fine" Tom yelled; he walked to the door grabbing his coat and slamming the door behind him. It took Lindsay a minute to realize he was actually leaving and she crumpled to the floor sobs wracking her body. Her stubbornness not allowing her to run out the door after him._

_"Tom!" she cried to herself. "I still love you" She sobbed. "I still need you… please don't go" she sobbed her whole body shaking. She didn't know what to do, and she knew he wasn't going to come back. She had been in love with this man sense she was fifteen years old and he just up'd and left; deciding he didn't love her anymore. That's when she realized it; Tom obviously didn't love her anymore, and didn't need her anymore. She cried herself to sleep for days that turned into weeks that turned into months. She blamed herself, because she must have done something to make Tom not love her anymore, it was all her fault that's all she knew, she lost the love of her life, that's all she could comprehend. She felt like her heart had been shot a dozen times over then ripped from her chest, she even found herself thinking that being shot on the job wouldn't be a bad way to go. She slowly recovered herself with the help of her closest friends pulling her from the hole she dug herself into. But, she still never thought it was anyone's fault but her own._


	2. Not So Sweet Sixteen

**Chapter 1: Not So Sweet 16**

Jessica came down stairs when her Aunt called her. The lights were out in the dinning room and she could see the glow from the candles on her birthday cake. Today was Jessica's sixteenth birthday, she had wanted a big party, but the people she wanted to be there wouldn't have been so she opted out. Instead she was having a cake and presents with her aunt and uncle and her two cousins. After they had eaten the cake that her aunt made her and opened her presents, cloths from her Aunt and Uncle and a movie and CD from her two five-year-old twin cousins. When the twin's were put to bed and they had settled onto the couch to watch her new movie when Jessica's cell phone rang. She almost jumped off the couch to get it from the kitchen counter. The caller ID flashed and she got a big smile. She answered it walking back to the couch.

"Hello?" she answered. Not knowing whose voice was going to answer.

"Hey birthday girl!!" The voice of her father Tom Hogan, rang though the earpiece.

"Hi Daddy!" She answered.

"Happy Birthday sweetie" he said. "What did you get for your birthday?"

"Well I got clothes from Aunt Steph and Uncle Mark, and movies and CD's from Alden and Hayden."

"That's nice sweetie. But you have one more, tell your aunt to get it for you" When Jessica looked up at her Aunt she already had another wrapped present and a card in her hands. She handed them to Jessica.

"Are these from you and Mommy, Dad?" She asked excitedly.

"Yup" He hated lying to her. Jessica opened the card that was signed love mom and dad then moved to ripping off the wrapping paper. She opened the box and found the cutest purse she had ever seen. It was a black XOXO purse with hot pink hearts on it.

"Aww, thanks daddy!!" she said as she picked it up. "Wait, what the?" The purse was heavy. She opened it and in the purse was a box for a digital camera. "Oh my god!! I've been wanting one of these, daddy!! Thank you!!"

"Your welcome sweetie" He said smiling into the phone knowing his daughter was happy. After she opened her present she told her dad about school and her friends and he talked about being a Lieutenant. After about a half hour she asked.

"Dad, can I talk to Mom?" She noticed her aunt look away.

"Um, she's working late tonight sweetie, you know she's got a new case" He lied.

"Oh" She said disappointment evident in her voice. "Well dad, we're gonna get back to our movie so, I guess I'll talk to you later?"

"Okay, sweetie, I love you"

"Love you too daddy, tell Mommy I said the same." She said

"I will, bye sweetie"

"Bye daddy" She hung up the phone and sat there for a few minutes. Then looked at her Aunt. "I think I'm just going to go to bed Aunt Steph I'm kinda tired"

"Okay" her Aunt replied looking at her sadly. Jessica gathered all of her birthday presents and took them up to her room.

Later that night when Jessica was lying in her bed as she heard a soft knock on the door. Her Aunt walked in. Steph looked at her now sixteen year old niece her brown hair pulled back, and her green eyes watery. She held her birthday card from her parents in her hand.

"Hey sweetie" She said sitting on the edge of Jessica's bed. Jessica gave her a sad smile. "What's wrong?" Her aunt asked.

"How come I never get to talk to her?" Jessica asked sadly. Her aunt immediately knew who she was talking about. Her mother.

"You know she's really busy sweetie I'm sure she just hasn't found the time" Her Aunt tried to reason.

"No Aunt Steph, I've been thinking about it I haven't talked to Mom in at least a year and a half, and now that I think about it that doesn't seem right to me! It's not even her signature on the damn card for god's sake!" Tears fell out of her eyes.

"That's it then." Her aunt said pulling her into a hug. "I guess I'm sending you to San Francisco" Jessica pulled out of the hug quickly.

"What?" she said.

"You need to talk to your Dad… and Mom. In person. So, I'm sending you to San Francisco. I'll get the tickets tonight before I go to bed and hopefully there will be a flight for tomorrow. Maybe by this time tomorrow you'll see you father" Jessica hugged her aunt again.

"Thanks, Aunt Steph this means the world to me"

"Anything sweet heart" Steph said, glad she wouldn't have to lie to her niece anymore.

In San Francisco, Lindsay Boxer lay on the couch with sweet Martha lying in her lap, staring at her cell phone. She had the speed dial number three punched in and she debated on weather or not to push the send button. She closed her phone and decided not to. She had no idea what to say to her daughter Jessica…


	3. Family? Homecoming

**Chapter 2: Family? Homecoming**

Lindsay sat in the interrogation room once again with Jacobi. She was gazing out the window, lost in different thought. Currently they didn't even have a case, which was surprising, so Tom had forced them to catch up on reports. That's when someone caught Lindsay's eye outside the glass. She had practically raised the girl there was no way it wasn't her. She got a sudden spurt of anger as she knew Tom hadn't told her she was coming. 

"I'll be right back" She said to Jacobi and left the room quickly. She took the stairs to Tom's office two at a time while trying not to look like she was in a rush. Before she even noticed someone else was in his office she said.

"Tom you could have at least told me she was" The woman turned around, it was Heather. "…Coming" she trailed off. Tom looked at her like she was crazy.

"Who?" Tom asked, having absolutely no clue who she was talking about.

"Jessica!!" Lindsay almost yelled.

"WHAT?" Tom did yell completely shocked.

"What do you mean what? How would you NOT know she was coming!?" Lindsay was angry. How could he not know their daughter got on a plane and flew who knows how many miles.

"Lindsay are you sure you're not, I don't know, seeing things?" He asked, irritating Lindsay that he was serious.

"I raised her Tom! I know my daughter when I see her" Lindsay looked down at the floor when she was done. Sooner or later she knew Tom would ask her to sign her rights over to Heather, hell Jessica was probably already calling Heather Mom. Never mind, she thought, Heather looked completely shocked.

"Honey, what are you talking about?" Heather asked Tom just as they heard.

"Mommy!?" Lindsay turned around to see Jessica walking into the room. Jessica dove into Lindsay's arms hugging her tight. Lindsay hugged her back and turned her head a bit so she could see Tom. Lindsay's bright green eyes had dulled and were pooling with tears. Heather stood clueless, Tom had no idea what to do, and this was way past damage control. Tom stood there for what seemed like hours.

"I missed you peanut" Lindsay said into her hair. "I missed you soo much" Tears were about to fall and Lindsay didn't know if she could hold them in much longer.

"I missed you too, Mommy" she said into her mother's shoulder. When she finally let go of Lindsay she gave Tom and equally huge hug.

"Daddy!" She said into his chest. Tom squeezed his daughter tight to his chest, forgetting for a moment everything that was happening. He was just happy to see his daughter. At the sight in front of her Lindsay's tears fell. Tom saw her tears fall and wanted to reach out to her, but he didn't, that would be one more thing to explain. Lindsay stared at them tears coming from her eyes as she realized they weren't hers anymore. When Jessica finally let go of Tom she turned back to look at Lindsay, taking absolutely no notice to Heather standing there getting angry. Jessica looked at her mother,

"How come you never called me, Mom?" She asked. "It's been almost a year and a half" Her eyes were pleading with Lindsay, Jessica looked like she had lost her best friend, and to Jessica she had. Lindsay stared shocked, she glanced at Tom before saying

"I had absolutely no clue what to say" Lindsay said her head down.

"Why would you not know what to say to your own daughter?" She asked as if Lindsay were stupid.

"After everything that's happened I just…" she looked at Tom and he slowly shook his head, Lindsay gave him a look of question.

"Tom, what the hell is going on!?" Heather said suddenly. Jessica jumped, she hadn't even noticed her there. Tom had absolutely no idea what to say. Luckily Jessica spoke for him, which could be good…or bad.

"Hi, I'm sorry, I didn't even notice you there." She said sticking her hand out. "I'm Jessica. Who are you?" Jessica asked with sweetness. Lindsay could tell it was fake, she also knew Heather wouldn't be able to tell it was either.

"I'm Tom's wife!" she said angry. She didn't shake Jessica's hand she just glared at Tom. Jessica's mouth dropped open and she stared back and forth at her mother and father. She didn't know what to say, or weather or not to believe this woman. But by the look on her father's face it was true. Lindsay was absorbing all of this and it hit her.

"Wait a minute Tom, you never told her!?" She said her anger coming out. Tom wanted to pick a battle and take Heather's, it would be more complicated but she is a lot less frightening than Lindsay when she's angry, after all Lindsay had a gun.

"No, he didn't tell me" Heather returned. Lindsay sent a glare her way then turned back to Tom.

"I was talking about Jessica!" She yelled at him. Turning and kicking the door to the office shut. "You didn't tell her Tom?! How the hell could you not tell…" She stopped mid-sentence. She had switched into mother mode and Tom had noticed before she even said this next. "We said we'd never argue in front of her. Does that still count now?" She asked him, voice shooting with venom. "Cause I have a couple angry things that need to be said" Tom just looked at her afraid to say anything.

"Maybe we all need to sit down and talk about this" Tom tried to say. Heather being mad at him was one thing, but Lindsay and Jessica being mad at the same time was always hard to deal with.

"Um, Yeah!" Both Lindsay and Jessica said together making Heather stare at them. Tom had to restrain his smile. Frowning realizing that she wasn't his anymore.

"Come back to my house, we can discuss this calmly and rationally" He said.

"Calmly and rationally my ass" Lindsay said under her breath. Heather glared at her.

"I'll meet you at home" Heather said grabbing her bag and walking out of the room glaring at Tom and Lindsay as she did so. That left the three of them in the room. Lindsay and Tom stared at each other. Well, Lindsay glared.

"Peanut, can you wait outside for a minute, my desk is still in the same place, Uncle Jacobi should be at his, I want to speak with your father" Jessica didn't say anything she just nodded and walked out of the room. Lindsay walked back over and slammed the door. Tom winced, he was in for it.

"What the hell is wrong with you!?" She yelled, she didn't care if people could hear her. "You didn't tell your own daughter Tom? You couldn't tell her?" Tom just stood there. "You could have at least told me. Why? Because I haven't called her sense our divorce because I had no clue what to say to her!" Lindsay's eyes started to water. "Do you have any idea how much I've missed her?" She said some of the tears pouring out. "Have you told Heather anything Tom? Anything?" She yelled. Tom shook his head. "How can you lie like that Tom? What the hell is wrong with you? I didn't know you could be that stupid! I know telling her about the divorce would have been hard on her! I know that! But now it's going to be ten times worse Tom! You tell her now that we've been divorced for almost two years and that your remarried and you didn't bother to tell her!! Did you even think of how bad it was going to hurt her when you told her that?!" She continued. She stood and waited a moment her chest heaving. "Did you even bother to think about me?" She asked, no longer yelling, her voice cracking. "How I would feel? I waited day after day for you to bring me the papers. Everyday sense you told me you were getting married. Asking me to sign over my rights. Do you have any idea how that ate me up Tom? To give up my baby girl, my peanut?" Her eyes staring into Tom's pooling with tears. "It kept me up at night. I wanted to call her to talk to her and I never knew what to say, ever. What could I say to her? I cannot believe you did this Tom, to her, and to me." Lindsay covered her face with her hands, ashamed. Tom walked over to her and tried to wrap her in a hug. She beat on his chest, repeatedly, and hard. Finally she just melted, hugging him hard.

"I'm so sorry Linz, I never meant for this to happen I was so stupid. I am so stupid" He whispered into her hair. Lindsey nodded into his shoulder, agreeing with him. "I'm so sorry Linz, I love both of you so much I shouldn't have lied… I'm so sorry" She felt dizzy, she wanted to stay there and hug him forever. Then let go realizing she shouldn't be hugging him in the first place. Tom sighed.

"Follow me to the house" He said grabbing his coat from the back of his chair and walking to the door opening it for her after she whipped her face. From over the top railing they looked down to see Claire and Jill along with Jacobi staring up at them with Jessica. As they walked down stairs and Lindsay got to her desk she glared at all three of them.

"Anyone want to tell me why you three failed to tell me she wasn't at the wedding?" Jacobi acted like he had no idea what she was talking about. Claire spoke,

"We… well, we just thought that Jessica decided not to come, and with everything you went through that day… we didn't want to hurt you even more" Lindsay stared at her.

"You should have told me" She said. There was a silence before Tom talked.

"We should get going, who are you riding with Jess?" He asked. Jessica glared at him.

"Mom" she said. They all hugged Jessica before they finally left and Jessica grabbed her small duffel bag off of Lindsay's desk. "Let's go" she said.


	4. Family Discussion

**Chapter 3: "Family" Discussion**

They followed Tom's car through the streets in silence, Lindsay wanted to say something but once again she found herself not knowing what to do.

"Seriously, he drives a little car, what a woman" Both of them started cracking up, laughter rang through Lindsay's Jeep.

"Happy sweet sixteen Peanut" Lindsay said. "I'm sorry I didn't call… I should have, not just on your birthday, I should of called" Lindsay said.

"It's not your fault mom… It's not your fault" She said.

"No peanut, I'm not letting you blame it all on your father. It's my fault too" Lindsay told her.

"Just because you tell me not to blame him doesn't mean I won't" Jessica came back.

"I've rubbed off on you too much… smartass" Lindsay said.

"Now that, is your fault" Jessica laughed, so did Lindsay. After they stopped laughing Jessica grabbed Lindsay's hand that lay on the parking brake. "I love you mommy, you know that right? No matter what happens?" The car came to a stop at the red light, Tom's car still right in front of them. Lindsay looked at her, she pulled Jessica's head towards her and kissed her forehead.

"I love you too Peanut, not matter what happens, always have and I always will" Jessica smiled at her and Lindsay smiled back. "Pull down your visor" Lindsay said as the light turned green.

"Ohh, CD's" Jessica said happily.

"It should be the fourth one from your left." Lindsay smiled.

"Sahh-weett" Jessica said as she pulled out the CD and put it in the player. The sounds of Journey's greatest hits flowed through the speakers. Both girls began to sing. Just as they pulled into a suburb like area a slow song came on, Lindsay just stared out the windshield as _Faithfully _played. She didn't even let the vocals come on before she jabbed the skip button.

"I happened to like that song" Jessica said sarcastically.

"Well I don't" Lindsay said.

"Well you used to love it" Jessica said. Before Lindsay could say something, Jessica spoke again. "The suburbs? Seriously? That's not like Dad at all"

"Yeah" Lindsay agreed. Finally Tom pulled into a driveway and Lindsay parked in front of the house. They both got up and walked to the front door where Tom waited for them. They walked in and Jessica looked around.

"Okay, really not like dad" Jessica mumbled to Lindsay.

"Yeah" Lindsay agreed. Heather must be changing more than just his clothing Lindsay thought.

"You don't really wanna be here?" Jessica said.

"Yeah" She said back. Heather appeared from no where and they all went and sat in the living room. No one said anything they all just sat there. It was a couple minutes before Heather spoke up.

"What the hell is going on!?" She asked, glaring at Tom.

"The whole thing?" Tom asked.

"Yes the whole thing!" She exclaimed, outraged.

"Okay, well um, when I was eighteen my girlfriend got pregnant, we decided to keep the baby" Heather just looked at him.

"Ashley, that hoe" Lindsay muttered under her breath. Tom half smiled at her.

"Wait how does Lindsay know her?" Heather asked.

"Just let me finish the story mostly everything your wondering will be answered" Tom said. "Well about two weeks after Jessica was born she left, I raised her by myself, with the help of my mom and Lindsay" He paused for a minute. "Lindsay and I had been best friend's sense high school" He looked at Lindsay.

"Yeah, when you failed your bio class and had to take it over again" Lindsay laughed. Heather half glared at her. Heather was making Jessica angry, both Tom and Lindsay could tell.

"Anyway it wasn't until a year after Jessica was born that we started dating, then eventually got married. Jessica thinks of Lindsay as a mother and Lindsay as if she had given birth to Jessica herself. The day Lindsay got her name changed she also adopted Jessica, so she is legally Jessica's mother." Tom paused looking at Lindsay.

"So where has she been all this time?" Heather asked. "Why didn't you tell me about her?"

"She's been living with my sister Stephanie. And I didn't tell you about her because I didn't want to tell Jessica about you" Tom had said it before he realized how mean it sounded. "I never wanted to hurt either of your feelings but I did it because I didn't want Jessica to feel like she had lost another mother" Heather just stared at him.

"I can't believe you" Lindsay said. "You know without a doubt that I would NEVER stop loving Jessica as my own daughter no matter what happened" Lindsay knew what he just told Heather was a lie.

"You thought I would want Lindsay to sign over her rights to me, didn't you?" Heather asked him very angry. "You didn't want to hurt Lindsay by asking her" Tom just looked at the floor. True it took Heather five minutes to figure out what took Lindsay two seconds. They sat there in silence, the worst of this conversation left to come. Jessica finally spoke up.

"When did you guys finally decide to split up?" she asked looking at Lindsay.

"A couple months after you left for Stephanie's" Lindsay said.

"Why?" Jessica asked.

"Sometimes I can't even remember" Lindsay mumbled. "I was bad at relationships, sometimes I think I was only a good mother to you. I was hardly a good wife. And when that case came up and I couldn't let it got, it tore the edges… sometimes I think us letting you leave was our biggest downfall, I might not have thrown everything I had into that case if you stayed with us, and when Tom gave up and I kept going, that's pretty much what happened" It was now Lindsay's turn to look at the floor. Any polite person would leave, this was a discussion between Tom, Jessica, and herself. But Heather just stayed put.

"You were a good wife, and it wasn't all your fault" Tom said to her, Lindsay lifted her gaze but to Jessica not to him.

"Who decided it was over?" Jessica asked. Lindsay actually did look up at Tom.

"I did" Tom said, staring right back at Lindsay.

"You actually left! Are you nuts Dad!? Crazy? Insane? What the hell is wrong with you!? The one time she needed you the most and you left her seriously dad! Come on!" Jessica vented.

"At the time, it felt like she didn't need me" Tom muttered. Looking at Lindsay. She wanted to say so badly that she did need him but refrained as Heather glowered at her. Jessica said it for her though.

"Are you kidding? Of course she needed you! She'll always needed you! Dad how can you be so stupid!?" Jessica yelled at him.

"You don't think I realized I was stupid, Jessica?!" He didn't mean to snap at her like that. "Sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you like that" Jessica waited a few minutes as if challenging Heather to say something about what Tom had just said. Then she rounded on Lindsay.

"And you! How could you let him think that you didn't need him mom! You know you need him just like I know it" Jessica said. Lindsay just sat there refusing to look at her daughter, knowing how much all of this would hurt her. "And let me guess you even thought to yourself you didn't need him when he left that's why you didn't go after him right? What about Anna mom? I saw the picture on your desk, the corners are frayed you obviously look at it all the time! You were and still are completely horrified of the subject! Are you completely insane for letting the only person that could comfort you about Anna go!?"

"Jessica!" Tom raised his voice to stop her before she continued. "That's enough" Jessica took a moment to realize her mother had began to cry.

"Oh, Mommy I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset you, I just got so angry, Mommy, I'm so sorry" She said. Lindsay pulled her daughter to her and said

"It's okay Peanut, you were angry, we all get angry and say things we don't mean" Lindsay said looking at Tom. "I'm sorry I let you down Peanut"

"Who's Anna?" Heather asked. Tom, Lindsay and Jessica stayed silent, not really wanted to tell her. To his surprise it was Lindsay who spoke up.

"She was our daughter" Lindsay said. "she was mine biologically I mean" Lindsay looked at Tom and said. "She died three weeks after she was born" She watched Tom look away and rub his eyes but Lindsay knew it was to wipe his eyes.

"You failed you tell me this too Tom?" Heather questioned. Her voice sounded so bitchy Lindsay wished she could just tell her to shut the hell up. Couldn't she tell loosing a child was a touchy subject?

"I didn't feel like reopening old wounds that happen to hurt a lot, Heather" He said his voice dull. Before Heather could make everything worse Jessica spoke again.

"How could you just lie to me dad?" She asked.

"I didn't want to upset you" He replied.

"You're lying! You of all people know I would have been able to take it! You know I'm tough considering I grew up with this one for a mother" She said pointing at Lindsay. "You know it would have upset me and you know I would have worked though it and accepted it. There is no reason you couldn't have told me! So I know your lying!" She stared at him as if daring him to tell the lie again. When he didn't say anything that's when Lindsay realized he actually was lying.

"Maybe I should get going" Lindsay said. "It's getting late, Peanut are you coming with me or are you…" before she even finished her sentence Jessica answered…

"I'm coming with you" she said. Both of them stood up to leave.

"I won't be in to work tomorrow, actually I don't know when I'll be in, family issues. I'll call you" She said and then both she and Jessica walked out of the living room. Before Lindsay closed the front door she heard Tom say

"I'll sleep on the couch" When she heard him say it a sad smile came to her lips as she remembered…

_It always happened when they got into and argument, if she was mad enough Lindsay would tell him to sleep on the couch. And he would. At about one in the morning Lindsay would feel a dip in the bed and a strong arm encircle her waist. _

_ "Tom, my gun is on the nightstand" she would threaten._

_ "Don't care. Couldn't sleep without you wrapped up in my arms" He would always say that, and she would forgive him. Because truth to be told she wasn't getting any sleep without his arms around her either._

With that same sad smile Lindsay walked to the car and drove Jessica back to her apartment.


	5. Mommy and Peanut Time

**Chapter 4: Mommy and Peanut Time**

By the time they got home it was around ten at night. Lindsay walked Jessica around and showed her where everything was. Jessica went to take a shower and Lindsay started to make some pasta for them to eat for dinner. Jessica's cell phone started ringing and Lindsay picked it up, seeing the caller ID flash she answered.

"Hello?"

"Lindsay?! Is that you?" Stephanie said into the phone surprised to hear her voice.

"Hey Steph, yeah it's me. Jessica's in the shower, I saw it was your number so I just answered." Lindsay relied.

"Well I'm glad you did, it's nice to hear from you. How have you been?" Steph asked.

"Oh well, I've been doing okay I guess, you know life in general" She replied; then thought she gave a pretty shitty answer.

"You don't have to lie Lindsay, I know things must be hard on you with Tom getting married to what's her name anyway" Both women laughed. "How's Jessica doing?" Steph asked.

"She's okay at the moment, She's pretty pissed at Tom and me too, completely hates Heather already." Lindsay said.

"I'm not surprised, you should hear some of the things mom said to him about her, I had just taught her how to use her three way on her phone and she and I three way'd Tom. Well Mom just kept saying Lindsay this and Lindsay that and Heather is nothing like Lindsay. I couldn't keep the laughter in" Steph told her, laughter in her voice.

"Now I know your kidding, Mom did not like me what so ever" Lindsay said, thinking of what she said to Heather the other day.

"Oh yeah right Lindsay, she only pretended to hate you. You of all people know that she adored you. She's always saying I wish Lindsay would come, mostly when Tom's here" Lindsay laughed. Tom's mother had a sense of humor, which she knew.

"Oh, well, Jessica just walked out of the shower I'll let you talk to her" Lindsay said as Jessica walking into the kitchen in a towel around her and around her hair.

"I'm gonna change then I'll be back" Jessica said to Lindsay as she took the phone.

"Oh my god Aunt Steph" Lindsay heard Jessica say as she walked out of the room. By the time Lindsay was finished making dinner and had put it on two plates Jessica walked back into the room in a pair of pajamas.

"Seriously Aunt Steph, in the suburb's, yeah I know its nothing like him, you should have seen the inside of the house, that was even more unlike him, I don't know how he lives there, when I walked into Mom's apartment it was like our old house but smaller. Hey, dinner is done Aunt Steph, I'll call you again when I get a chance, okay I'll tell her, yyeeaahh I'll tell Dad too, love you too bye" Jessica closed her phone and put it on the counter grabbing her plate smelling the food "mmm real food, I have missed your cooking mom" They both went and sat at the table eating, and not really talking. When both of them finally cleared they're plates they moved to the couch. They both sat there waiting for the other to say something.

"Do you like her at all?" Jessica finally asked her.

"I know I'm not supposed to but every time I see her she says something that makes me respect her" Lindsay said. "Except for today"

"When has she said something to you before?" Jessica asked curious. Lindsay laughed a bit.

"You know the first time I met Heather your father didn't have a shirt on" Jessica laughed and rolled her eyes. "She had brought him in a new shirt because he had pulled an all nighter, and the way she looked at me was as if I was horrible because I didn't do that for him" Now Lindsay rolled her eyes when she was done talking.

"Oh please," Jessica said. "When he pulled an all nighter you pulled an all nighter, and you both rushed home to see me when I woke up so I didn't wake up and wonder where you guys were and think you left me"

"How did you…" Lindsay started to ask.

"Grandma told me" she smiled. "But don't tell Dad, as far as he knows I still think he's superman" Lindsay laughed. "Grandma always told me you were just a mom" Jessica said.

"She never did like me very much" Lindsay said.

"That's a joke, Grandma always talked about you, and how great you are, she still does now" Jessica smiled at Lindsay's shocked face. "She always used to say you didn't need super powers like Dad did, that all you needed was your daughters love and you could do anything... Dad needed the superpowers to feel macho" Lindsay and Jessica both laughed. "Well that's what Grandma said anyway, when else did you talk to her?"

"She made cookies" Lindsay said. "She came in and asked to talk to me, well we went into the break room and she told me she wanted to apologize" Lindsay smirked at Jessica as she just stared stupidly at Lindsay. "She said that she wanted to apologize for" Lindsay did air quotations with her fingers. "Staking her claim" Jessica threw her head back in laughter; it was one of pure joy that warmed Lindsay's heart to know that her daughter is so happy. "the next time I spoke to her she brought in a bunny" Lindsay smiled. "It was to help with a case" she explained as Jessica laughed. "The only witness to the murder was a little five year old girl that was in Heather's class. Anyway, the little girl reminded me of you. Well, when I was talking to her when she was trying to identify a voice she didn't know it so when I let her down to leave Heather said something along the line of 'wow you're really great with kids'"

"Ha, I wonder why?" Jess interrupted.

"Yeah, I didn't really think about it at the time, and now that I think about it she would have known why I was good with kids if Tom would have told her about you and yet I restrained myself from saying it was because I had a daughter." Lindsay finished.

"Am I that unimportant that no one cares to mention me anymore?" Jessica said sounding upset. Lindsay propped her feet on the coffee table so she could stretch out her legs, Lindsay than patted her lap. Jessica sighed and stretched out on the couch laying her head in Lindsay's lap. Lindsay started running her running her fingers through Jessica's hair, still knowing just how to sooth her.

"Peanut I know it might not have seemed like it for the past year but you are the most important thing in my life, and you have been ever sense you were born, sure you may not me _my_ baby, but you are my baby, I love you Peanut you know that" Lindsay said in a tone of voice she hadn't used in a long time, her calm, full of love, mothering voice.

"Thanks mommy, I love you too" Jessica said back, she missed being with her mom, she loved her aunt yes, but no one could ever replace her mother, because as far as Jessica was concerned she didn't have another mother, it was just Lindsay. They sat like that for a minute or two before Jessica asked again. "When else did you talk to Heather?"

"You just never give up" Lindsay said still stoking her daughters hair as Jessica shook her head. "Well next time it was at their wedding" Lindsay sighed.

"You went to their wedding!?" Jessica exclaimed looking at her in shock.

"Hell no, according to Heather I tried to crash their wedding. Aunt Jill's boss got completely drunk and told Luke about your Aunt Jill sleeping with her boss's man, anyway, Jill got upset because Luke said they were over and she refused to back out to the reception to get Claire. Anyway when I got there Claire was outside with her and we were talking and about to go when Heather came outside looking for Tom and went off on all of them then told me that Tom wasn't mine and I needed to move on, ha, then when she came back from their honeymoon she apologized to me for going all crazy bride" Lindsay finished looking at her.

"No matter what she says he will always be yours, he has been sense freakin' high school" Jessica said rolling her eyes as if her saying that had solved everything.

"He's married to another woman Jessica" Lindsay said flatly. Jessica looked at her strangely most likely because Lindsay had called her Jessica instead of peanut which Lindsay had called her sense before she was a year old.

"Anything else?" Jessica asked.

"Hmm, two days ago I had to go find her and talk to her in the bathroom" Lindsay smiled, Jessica raised her eyebrows. "The poor woman was crying her eyes out because she thought Heather Hogan was a bad name of coarse it doesn't help that Mom called her Heather Hogan from Hobokin." Jessica started laughing, Lindsay continued. "Anyway I was the bigger person and told her blah blah blah her name would be fine, and she told me about how she told him and he told her he wouldn't mind if she didn't change her name. She never told him and I know it" Jessica just continued laughing.

"Heather Hogan from Hobokin..." she laughed. "god, grandma's funny" Jessica wiped her watery eyes. "End of stories about Heather?" She asked Lindsay nodded.

"Oh, before I forget Aunt Steph and Grandma are coming" Jessica said.

"What!?" Lindsay said jumping. Jessica glared at her, her neck jerked up she gave Lindsay the 'excuse me' look. "Sorry peanut"

"Its okay" She said back, laying her head back on Lindsay's lap. "Anyway she and Grandma should be here the day after tomorrow, Aunt Steph said that she would much rather stay with you or a hotel but Grandma insists on imposing on Dad just so she can bug Heather. Aunt Steph promised she will record and/or take pictures for our enjoyment as well" Lindsay laughed.

"Well I'll still tell Mom she's welcome to stay here anyway" Lindsay said. Lindsay sat in the silence stroking her daughter's hair enjoying her being here sense she had missed her so much. Lindsay stared out into space thinking about everything, coming back to reality when Jessica grabbed her hand.

"Mommy, what's bothering you?" Jessica asked looking up at Lindsay.

"What? Nothing's wrong sweetie, I was just thinking" Lindsay lied to her, hoping she would believe her.

"Seriously mom, you can't lie to me I learned how to lie from you, which is why I can't lie. Besides the point. You don't stare into space for no reason, you only do it when something's bothering you" Lindsay sighed, looking down at her daughter. Then Jessica darted up into a sitting position. "you didn't!?" Jessica exclaimed. Lindsay just looked at her.

"I didn't what?" She said.

"Oh, don't you play coy with me mom! I can't believe you slept with Dad!" Jessica raised her voice to stress her aggravation.

"Of coarse I slept with your father… when we were _married_!!" Lindsay called back stressing the last word.

"Oh you liar!" Jessica said. "Mom! Seriously! This is why it hurt so badly and why your keeping it all in! Aunt Claire said that you held up well when they got married! That's obviously because you didn't want to admit to yourself that you slept with him and therefore still have feelings for him, because that would make him getting married all the more harder for you!" Lindsay just stared at her in shock. "I've learned how to figure you out Mom! I may not be your blood daughter but I am just like you! What I can't figure out is why you let him get married Mom, it's so unlike you! You always stand up for what you want!" Jessica stared at her mom while Lindsay stared at the floor.

"There was nothing I could have done Jessica" Lindsay whispered. "I couldn't have him no matter how much I wanted him" A tear came from Lindsay's eye.

"Mom, he still loves you" Jessica said.

"No Jessica, he doesn't, you have to realize not all love is fairy tale ending! Your father and I were obviously not meant to be together or we would still be married! Jessica I'm sorry, I know all of this is hurting you more than it's hurting any of us, I just wish I could have saved you all the pain" Lindsay looked down to the floor again.

"That's where your wrong mom. Your hurting yourself more than you're hurting me because you're to damn stubborn to admit that you love him and he loves you… I'm going to bed, try not to wake me when you come it… Today has just been too hard" Jessica got off the couch and padded into Lindsay's room to take up the half of the queen sized bed Lindsay had promised her. Lindsay got up and walked into the kitchen, pulling the vodka from the cabinet and pouring herself a glass. She stood there staring at the picture on the wall that just happened to be of her and Jessica when Jessica was five, wishing she could go back to those times; when Jessica wasn't almost always right. She finished her vodka and walked silently into her bedroom careful not to wake her daughter.


	6. Mommy, Daddy, and the Evil Stepmother

**Chapter 4: Mommy, Daddy, and the Evil Stepmother**

Lindsay woke the next morning with her eyes tightly shut, the San Francisco sun light beaming through her bedroom windows. She squinted open her eyes to notice the alarm clock only said nine. She knew all to well that Jessica wouldn't be awake until around twelve thirty if no one woke her, so Lindsay fully intended to sleep in with her. Lindsay closed her eyes again, laying her head back down on the pillow. She sighed, waiting for her sleep to come, not wanting to move from the spot she was in. Lindsay was finally starting to dose off when the familiar chime of her cell phone started ringing. She groaned. Without moving she felt around on the table for her phone until her hand landed on it, she grabbed it and opened it, while the phone was still ringing she read the caller ID: Tom Hogan. As she pushed the talk button Jessica groaned.

"Oh my god!! Who calls this early!!" Covering her face with her pillow.

"Hello?" Lindsay said into the phone.

"Hey" Tom said.

"Do you need something?" Lindsay asked rather rudely, he woke her up she had every right she thought.

"I woke you up didn't I? I know she usually sleeps till twelve, but you?"

"I'm tired. And I have every right to" Lindsay said back. "So what do you want?" She heard Jessica laugh from under the pillow and Lindsay poked her stomach. Jessica yelped loudly and jumped.

"Mommy!"

"What are you doing?" He asked curiously.

"Oh, just being mommy and peanut like usual" Lindsay responded the way she always used to bringing a frown to her face. "So again, what did you want?" she asked.

"Well you have our daughter and I want to see her" Tom said as if it was obvious. Lindsay missed everything he said after _our._ Lindsay caught up with herself.

"And…?" She said.

"Georges at twelve for some lunch?" Tom asked.

"Sure whatever, we'll probably be late" Lindsay smiled a bit.

"Yeah I know, you girls will never be on time" Tom laughed.

"Okay, Georges at twelve" Lindsay repeated. "Alright see you there" she said.

"Okay Linz, bye"

"Bye" Lindsay closed the phone. Jessica came out from under her pillow.

"Who's George?" She asked . Lindsay laughed a bit.

"Restaurant sweetie, at twelve lunch with dad and probably Heather" Jessica rolled her eyes. By the time they ate breakfast and Lindsay got a shower, and both of them got ready it was already twelve. When they got there they were late as usual, neither of them cared. As Tom saw both of them walk towards the table he and Heather were sitting at he looked at his watch and shook his head.

"Some things never change" He said.

"Nope" Both Lindsay and Jessica said simultaneously. They ordered they're drinks before anyone started really talking. Jessica started telling them about her school of the arts and her friends. That lasted until they ordered their food. They all sat in an uncomfortable silence as they waited for their food that they were told could take up to a half hour because they were so busy. That was until Heather interrupted that silence.

"I have a question" She asked timidly. Lindsay just looked at her and Jessica rolled her eyes.

"What is it?" Tom asked.

"Why did Jessica's mom leave?" Jessica redirected her gaze her parents who had never answered that question when she asked. Lindsay's mouth opened slightly and Tom adverted his gaze to something across he room. "Tom?" she asked again.

"They don't like to talk about it obviously, they never even told me" Jessica said sharply.

"No it's okay" Tom said. He was looking directly at Lindsay. "We'll tell them both" He said.

"You'll tell them" Lindsay mumbled to him, looking out the window.

"Well Lindsay had never really liked Ashley all too much, about two weeks after Jessica was born Lindsay and I were talking when Ashley came in…" As he continued to speak the memory flowed back to Lindsay's mind as he told the story.

_"Tom, I'm telling you, she's not going to stick around that much longer, you're the one that's going to get hurt the most, think about Jessica" Lindsay said while she held the tiny baby girl wrapped in pink in her arms. Tom walked through the room pacing._

_ "Lindsay! I know you're my best friend but how do you know? Ashley is a great girl, and she loves Jessica and she loves me! Why can' you just except that Linz?" Tom exclaimed. Lindsay walked over to Jessica's crib and gently laid the baby down before saying anything._

_ "Because I love you Tom! You're my best friend and I care about you! That's why I care! Why else would I care? I care about Jessica! Your going to get hurt Tom, She doesn't love you! And she doesn't love Jessica either!" Lindsay argued back with him. _

_ "She's not going to leave Lindsay" Tom said stubbornly._

_ "She's cheating on you Tom! Jesus! Are you too stupid or blind to see it?! I have seen her out with other guys Tom! Everyone has seen her out with other guys! Which is why I'm saying you need to leave her! So you don't get hurt as much as you will be when she leaves you!" Lindsay's eyes pleaded with Tom to say that he would leave her but he shook his head. _

_ "I can't do that Linz" He said looking at the floor._

_ "You tell her Tom" Came from the doorway where Ashley stood._

_ "Ashley!" They both said at the same time._

_ "She just wants you for herself anyway, everyone knows that" She said sarcastically as she walked into the room. "Or were you to blind to see that too?" Ashley asked. "She's wanted you sense the first day you sat next to her in Bio class Tom, you should have just dated her, then you wouldn't be left to raise a kid by yourself" Tom's mouth fell open a bit and Ashley smirked at him, Lindsay clenched her hands into fists. "You should have listened to her Tom, you should have left me, cause I was going to leave you as soon as I had this baby because I sure as hell don't want her, you've always loved Lindsay, I guess I was too stupid to think you could love me huh? Instead I have sex with you and get myself knocked up right? I could never be with you Tom because I hate you! You got me pregnant Tom! All the while you loved her" She yelled pointing a finger at Lindsay. "You're a bastard Tom, and an idiot! I don't love you! And I never did! I faked it! Why? Because you were hot and a good kisser! You'll be a shitty dad and you'll never amount to anything, all you'll have is that whore and you guys will probably live with your crazy ass mother for the rest of your lives. Have fun raising her Tom, don't tell her I want to meet her one day because I don't, I guess you should have listened to Lindsay huh?" Tom stood there his eyes watering. As Ashley turned to leave…_

_ "Hey Ashley" Lindsay said. Just as Ashley turned around she didn't have any time to react, Lindsay's fist connected with her jaw. Ashley stumbled backwards into the wall where she held her jaw; staring at Lindsay in disbelieve. Then without saying a word she walked out of the room and out of the house down to her car and left. Lindsay walked over to him and put a hand on his cheek lifting his gaze from the floor._

_ "I guess you were right" Tom mumbled. Lindsay wrapped her arms around him. Talking into his ear._

_ "If it means anything" She whispered. "I wish I wasn't but I'm glad she's gone, it's for the better Tom" She felt tom nod into her shoulder._

As the memory faded as Lindsay looked at Tom who was looking directly at her. The memory still stung her heart, and her eyes went glassy.

"I guess she was wrong" Lindsay said. Tom smiled a bit before both of them looked at the remaining women for a reaction. Heather had a narrow stare on her face that was directed at Lindsay and Jessica sat with her mouth wide open.

"So wait, Ashley left because she knew that you loved Mom?" she said pointing at Tom. Tom nodded his head as if not really wanting to admit it.

"How come you never told me, how come whenever I asked you told me it wasn't important and that mom was my mother? Then Heather asks and you just come right out and tell her, and all my life I never knew" Jessica stared at Tom.

"I… I didn't want you to blame Lindsay for not having your real mother around" Tom mumbled, Jessica started at him in disbelieve.

"You don't know me at all do you dad? I would have never blamed mom for Ashley not being around, you of all people should know that!" She shook her head at him, then the waiter brought their food, and they all ate silently. Finally when they all finished they're lunch Jessica looked at Tom.

"I guess I should tell you, Aunt Steph and Grandma are coming in tomorrow" Jessica said casually. Tom's eyes got big, Lindsay wanted to laugh out loud at the look of horror on Heather's face.

"What!?" He exclaimed, shocked. "Your kidding right?"

"No, Aunt Steph called last night and said they were flying in, Grandma is going to stay with you but I think Aunt Steph wants to stay with Mom, because I know Aunt Steph misses their" Jessica raised her hands to do air quotes. "Best Friends: Wife and Sister talk and or complain about annoying brother slash husband times" At this Lindsay's head went back as she shook with laughter, by the time she had calmed down her eyes were watery. Dabbing under her eyes with her finger Lindsay sighed.

"Ah, the good old days, that's before we were even married, I think that's what Mom used to call it while we were in high school" Tom laughed and so did Jessica, Heather glared.

"So you call Tom's mother mom? She doesn't even let me call her that" She said, rudeness evident in her voice. Lindsay was a bit bothered.

"She's been like a mother to me sense I started high school, of course I call her mom she insisted on it after I'd known Tom for two months, still insists on it now" Tom's smiled faded a bit as Lindsay said that because, of course, Heather wouldn't understand.

"I thought you didn't speak to your sister?" Heather asked, Jessica scoffed.

"Yeah right, Dad and Aunt Steph are best friends" Jessica said. Heather just turned to look at Tom. Tom could only shrug.

"I'm sorry" He said quietly to her. She just looked at him. "Would you guys like to come back to our place, continue talking…?" He asked. Lindsay looked at Jessica, waiting for her to answer because it was whatever she wanted to do.

"Okay" she said.

"Why don't you guys come to my place" Lindsay said surprisingly. "It's closer" she added.

"Sure" Tom said as Heather looked at him skeptically. When they got to Lindsay's house she walked them into the living room. They sat in silence once again not knowing what to say.

"Oh, look what I found" Jessica walked into the dinning room and came out with what looked like a photo album.

"Peanut, when did you find that? And why are you getting it out?" Lindsay asked in a stressed voice, she stared at the book as if she hated it.

"This morning, while you were in the shower, and to show it to Dad" She said as if it were nothing.

"Jessica please don't get that album out" Lindsay said, trying to make it sound like she wasn't pleading. Jessica just looked at her and sat on the couch next to her, she then patted the sofa cushion next to her beckoning Tom to sit next to her. Tom shook his head with a smile on his face and sat next to her.

"Grandma made this one" Jessica told her father as he sat down next to her. As Jessica opened the album Lindsay felt a pang in her heart as the first picture was of Lindsay and Tom at their wedding. She barely registered Heather squeezing onto the last part of the couch before the memory flooded back to her.

_They had just finished eating their dinner at their wedding reception when the DJ announced it was time for the dancing._

_ "Now, mister and misses had picked out a song for their first dance together as husband and wife but mister here decided to change the song to Lindsay's favorite, so here is Lindsay and Tom's first dance as husband and wife" As Tom walked Lindsay to the dance floor she looked at him in shock._

_ "You changed the song?" She asked. As Tom stopped in the center of the floor and pulled Lindsay close to him he smiled at her._

_ "Just wait" he said. As the music started to play Lindsay's eyes watered._

_ "Oh Tom" She said as her favorite song flowed out of the speakers. It was Faithfully by Journey. She hugged Tom closely to her and they remanded that way through the song, Lindsay singing bits and pieces of the song to Tom. What surprised her most is when he whispered along with the lyrics._

_ "I'm forever yours…Faithfully" He whispered in her ear. Lindsay pulled back from Tom looking in his eyes, he smiled at her, she smiled back. "I love you, Linz" He said._

_ "I love you too, Tom" She whispered before kissing him_

That was right when the picture was taken by Tom's mother is what Lindsay assumed, it always was one of her favorites. As she looked at it now, with Tom right there, and Tom's wife also there it made tears sting in her eyes, she refused to let them fall.

"This was your first dance right?" Jessica asked. Lindsay didn't answer, she just waited for Tom too.

"Yup" He said. "To Faithfully" As Jessica turned the page all three of them smiled. "oh I forgot about this picture" Tom said. The picture was also taken at the reception, Tom and Lindsay were holding Jessica between them she was only about two years old both of them pressing a kiss on both of her cheeks, Jessica had the biggest smile on her face.

"Happiest day of my life" Jessica said. Both Tom and Lindsay elbowed her at the same time. As she flipped the page it was of one with all three of them in the park.

"This is when we went to that huge park in Michigan" Tom said. "You loved it." She turned the page and it was another picture of them at the park. This one was a bit more humorous. Tom was upside down hanging for the monkey bars, kissing Lindsay. Jessica was standing in front of them giggling.

"You should send this in to Spider-Man and tell them you'll sew for stealing the idea unless they give you a million dollars" Tom laughed a little and Lindsay once again just stared at the pictures. As Jessica turned the page she started to crack up, so did Lindsay. As soon as Tom saw the picture he smiled a bit then said as seriously as possible.

"Okay, that was not funny" he said. The picture was taken at the beach, Jessica and Lindsay both in matching mommy, baby two pieces and they had just buried Tom in the sand and they were sitting on him.

"It was funny Tom" Lindsay said her voice low. Jessica nodded in agreement, noticing the tone in her mother's voice, wondering how much pain it was causing her to look at the pictures. Jessica wondered if she should just put it away. As Jessica turned the page and tears stung in Lindsay's eyes.

"When did you get these?" Tom asked.

"Mom sent them to me just after the divorce said she had found a disposable camera and took it to get developed and when she got it back she wasn't expecting these to be on there" Lindsay explained. The picture was of a baby dressed in all pink.

"Who is that?" Heather asked.

"Anna, our baby girl" Lindsay said as Jessica turned the page again. There was a picture of Tom holding Anna, then of Lindsay holding five year old Jessica who was holding Anna. Then one of Lindsay, all sweaty, holding Anna and Toms grinning face right next to her, the same one she kept at her desk at work. Jessica turned the page again to fall on a Christmas picture. It was of Tom and Lindsay and Jessica standing in front of a Christmas tree. Tom and Lindsay with they're arms around each other and opposite hands on Jessica's opposite shoulders. Then the next picture was of them both in front of that same tree holding Jessica up and pressing kisses on both of Jessica's cheeks. Jessica turned the page again. The next picture Lindsay smiled at, it was a picture of Mom, Lindsay, and Steph all in the kitchen making Christmas breakfast.

"The trio" Tom laughed. "Made some to die for Christmas breakfast casserole"

"That we did" Lindsay smiled.

"Yup" Jessica agreed as she turned the page again. "I remember this" She smiled. "Grandma almost yelled missile toe and everyone turned and stared" Jessica said. The memory filled Lindsay's mind.

_Lindsay was in the kitchen helping Tom's mother with the start of Christmas dinner when Tom walked in. He creped up behind Lindsay snaking both arms around her waist and pulling her into his chest. She laughed as he tried to tickle her._

_ "Wanna go ice skating before dinner?" he whispered as he nipped at her ear. Lindsay squealed a bit and Tom just held her tighter._

_ "I'm helping your mother with dinner" She replied. Tom bit her neck in response. "Tom!" She yipped. Tom's mother turned around and smiled at them._

_ "Go! Have fun. I can handle it here, just be back by two for dinner" She smiled at them and Tom mockingly dragged Lindsay away from the counter. He turned Lindsay in his arms right as they reached the archway into the living room. "Missile toe!" Tom's mother called. Both Lindsay and Tom turned and looked up at where the missile toe hung, then smiled at each other, not noticing everyone was smiling at them. Tom pulled Lindsay close and dipped her into a kiss. She smiled into his lips and kissed him back. That's when the picture was taken, but Lindsay mostly remembers what happened after it. Tom dragged her outside after they got dressed in some warm cloths ice skates and blanket in hand while Jessica was taking her nap. As they walked out though the back yard and into the woods to the ice pond, Tom held Lindsay's hand and it wasn't until they got to the pond did Lindsay stop walking. Tom kept walking and he got jerked back sense he was still holding her hand. He turned and faced her. _

_ "What?" he mumbled before Lindsay grabbed him by the back of the neck and brought his lips to hers. Tom had completely fallen over into the snow and they both rolled around laughing. Tom had rolled on top of Lindsay pinning her wrists to the ground above her head kissing her again, while they took turns on who had to lay with their backs pressed into the cold snow. They were outside for three hours before they realized they were late. Tom looked at her and said "Whoever is back last is naked first" Lindsay leaned in and kissed him one last time before she got up and darted, Tom right after her. They never did get to ice skating._

As the memory faded Lindsay looked at Tom and realized he had to be remembering the same thing.

"I think we've had enough of the memories for today Peanut" Lindsay said after Heather made a scoffed sound. Jessica closed the book and put it on the coffee table. Both Lindsay and Jessica got up and sat on the love seat so they all weren't so squished.

"Sooooo" Jessica stretched out. It was silent for a couple minutes before anyone said anything.

"I want you to move back out here" Tom said to Jessica.

"What?" She said shocked. Lindsay smiled and shook her head while Heather gaped at him, he obviously didn't tell her that either.

"I want you to be back in San Francisco with me, we have two extra rooms in the house you can live with us" Tom said. Jessica scoffed at him.

"One, how can you just say that when you know I am still completely angry with you? And Two, if I moved back out here I would live with Mom" She said. Lindsay smiled knowing that would be her daughters answer and Tom stared at her wide eyed.

"Tom, don't act like you thought this would be simple, you know she's stubborn and you know she's angry at you, you can't expect to snap your fingers and she'll be your little girl again, you know how she's like" Lindsay said. Jessica mocked being offended.

"Yeah, she's just like you!" Tom raised his voice just a bit to express his point.

"And you say that like it's my fault!" Lindsay defended herself.

"Children" Jessica said calmly.

"Jessica!" They both said back to her. Jessica glared at them back and forth, knowing this was about to turn into an argument. It was at this point that she wished her parents were still married. Then the argument would just be over because Tom would have kissed Lindsay to make her shut up already. No such luck.

"She has every right to be angry with you, Tom!" Lindsay yelled at him. Both Jessica and Heather just sat and watched as the argument started.

"No, you see Lindsay, I think by she you mean you! I know Jessica is angry with me! And so are you! Is there some other reason your angry with me that you already didn't yell at me for in my office!?" Tom exclaimed.

"Yes Tom I'm angry at you for a lot of things! Things that I don't feel like getting into right now! But RIGHT NOW I'm angry that you're acting like we have no reason to be mad at you! Thomas Daniel Hogan you can be such a self conceded ass sometimes!!" She yelled at him.

"Oh god, the full name, duck for cover" Jessica mumbled under her breath.

"Something's bothering you, something else" Tom said calmly. Heather started at him, as he talked in a tone of voice she had never heard before. "Something else is eating at you" he said.

"Yes! Tom! Something is bothering me! Your unbelievable stupidity!" She shouted. "What if that shot went through your vest!" She said. Her voice cracked. "What if that bullet was only an inch or two higher?" Her eyes watered and her voice broke.

"You got shot?!" Jessica said.

"You were on the streets!?" Heather asked loudly. Tom paid them no attention, he just stared at Lindsay.

"I would have been left explaining this to everyone! To Heather who just happens to be your WIFE" Tears poured down Lindsay's face. "I had no idea you kept this from everyone! Do you know how scared I was just because it hit your vest? I was scared to death it went through! What if you died Tom!? What would I have done!! I know that sounds selfish, but what would I have told Heather, what would I have told JESSICA! Your own daughter! God Dammit Thomas I just can't believe you sometimes!" Lindsay finished yelling and put her elbows on her knees, digging her face into her hands. Tom just stared at her.

"I'm sorry we're arguing in front of you Peanut" Lindsay mumbled.

"It's okay mom" Jessica said annoyed, still glaring at Tom. Then Heather had to open her big mouth.

"You were out on the streets Tom?" She said aggravated.

"Oh shut up!" Jessica exclaimed. Lindsay lifted her head to say something to Jessica but Jessica started again before Lindsay could stop her. "This has nothing to do with you! This is our family problem, when you get home you can talk to him about your own problems, that don't matter. You are an overbearing wife do you know that?" Jessica asked. Everyone just stared at her in shock. "You're completely changing my dad! Your house that you made so fluff, I can guarantee you he hates it, the new cloths too. And as for you asking him to stay off the streets… Jesus! That's like asking him to give up him dream just so you can get a good nights sleep! If you have ever once heard him talk about his childhood you would know he's wanted to be a homicide inspector sense he was seven. As far as I'm concerned I don't like you. And I know you don't like me and you don't have to, because as far as I'm concerned my dad still loves my mom and not you!" Jessica was reaching breaking point, Lindsay could feel it, and she knew exactly what was going to be said next.

"That's not true" Heather mumbled out.

"Oh yeah, then why did you sleep with mom just over a two weeks ago dad?" Jessica asked. Lindsay winced, and Heather gasped, Tom just stared at her. "And don't you dare try to say it was just some meaningless fuck dad! You know you have loved her sense you first set eyes on her in HIGH SCHOOL! And the same for Mom! I don't know what is with you two and denying yourself happiness or maybe you guys are just too stupid to realize that your love for each other didn't and isn't going anywhere!" As soon as Jessica finished she got off the couch and darted into Lindsay's room and quickly slammed the door. Lindsay was soon up after her, but Jessica had already locked it.

"Jessica Nicole Hogan! You better open this god damn door before I have to open it my damn self!" She got no response. She heard the door slam and turned to see Tom holding his cheek and walking towards her. "Leave" Lindsay glared at him. "I can handle it myself"

"She's _our_ daughter remember?" Tom said.

"I don't give half a shit! Leave!" Lindsay's voice was low expressing her anger. Tom didn't want to challenge her, but he wasn't leaving.

"No" Tom replied. Lindsay glared at him, then returned her gaze to the door.

"Jessica Nicole! If you don't open this damn door I'm gonna kick your ass!" Lindsay yelled.

"Threaten her. That will work" Tom mumbled.

"No you won't!" Jessica yelled back through the door. Lindsay gave Tom a smug look.

"Do you want to put money on that?" Lindsay yelled back. Then the door opened slowly, and a very angry Jessica appeared.

"No" She said glaring at both of them.


	7. Quality Family Time

**Chapter 5: "Quality" Family Time**

As Lindsay stared into Jessica's eyes she knew what was coming. She could only fence in what was coming for so long. Jessica's lips turned down into a frown and her eyes went glassy.

"Come here" Lindsay said wrapping both her arms around her. Lindsay led her to the couch where she pulled Jessica into her lap and stroked her hair. "Shhhh, its okay Peanut, ssshhh its okay" She whispered as her own tears dripped down her cheeks.

"I'm sorry" Jessica sobbed. "I didn't mean to let it out, I'm so sorry mommy" She kept sobbing. Lindsay pulled Jessica close to her chest.

"Shhh, it doesn't matter Peanut" Lindsay whispered in her ear. Tom slid onto the couch right next to Lindsay slipping an arm around her shoulders and pulling her close, the other laying on top of Lindsay's hand that was around Jessica's. Tom took his thumb and wiped away Lindsay's tears. They sat like that for what seemed like hours. After awhile Jessica lifted her head from Lindsay's shoulder, and Lindsay loosened her grip on her, in turn Tom loosened his grip on Lindsay, but didn't let go.

"Sorry I didn't mean to go psycho chick on you" Jessica mumbled as Lindsay wiped her tear stained face.

"Stop apologizing" Tom said, brushing a strand of hair out of her face. "It doesn't matter"

"Your not mad at me daddy?" She asked, fear in her eyes.

"No Peanut, I could never be mad a you" Tom said kissing her forehead. "I'm sorry I lied, I know your angry with me, and I'm truly sorry Peanut, If I could go back I wouldn't have lied, I wouldn't have even sent you to live with Aunt Steph" He said while he glanced up at Lindsay. Jessica looked at him, knowing her daddy meant it when she looked into his eyes, she could tell he actually did regret everything.

"It's okay Daddy, I understand" She said.

"Come here" He smiled at her. Still half on Lindsay's lap she reached over and wrapped her arms around her father. Tom squeezed her tightly. "I've missed you sweetie" He said. He looked at Lindsay over Jessica's shoulder; she was smiling at them meekly. Tom could tell she was barely holding it in.

"I missed you too Daddy" Jessica said as she pulled back. Jessica repositioned herself in Lindsay's lap with her back pressed to Lindsay's chest. Lindsay stroked her hair.

"How old are you?" Tom asked jokingly.

"Five" Jessica said back stubbornly. Tom looked at Lindsay with a steely gaze. He nodded a bit at her and she returned it. "Oh no" Jessica said, but before she could get up both of them started tickling her. Jessica laughed uncontrollably. "Okay" She panted out. "Okay I give up" Jessica panted.

"What do you say?" Tom asked.

"Never!" Jessica laughed. They continued tickling her. "Okay, okay, I love you Mommy and Daddy you're the best!" Both of them looked at her skeptically before they both pressed kisses on either of Jessica's cheeks, just like old times. Jessica then sat up and yawned. "Mom, I'm really tired" Jessica said. "Is it okay if I go take a nap and you wake me up for dinner?" She asked.

"I might wake you up" Lindsay joked. Jessica mock glared at her. "Go Peanut, I'll wake you up" She said as she kissed Jessica's forehead. Jessica got up out of Lindsay's lap and slowly padded into her mothers bedroom gently closing the door with a small click. As soon as the click sounded the tears flowed silently out of Lindsay's eyes.

"Oh Linz" he whispered. He wrapped both arms around her pulling her small frame into his chest tightly, she clung to him. Tom whispered sweet nothings in her ear trying to get her to calm down. She continued to cry, and he decided to let her let it all out. He stoked her hair and kissed her forehead until she uttered out words.

"What are we going to do Tom?" she mumbled into his chest quietly.

"I don't know Hun, we'll figure it out, we always do Hun" Tom whispered. Fresh tears came down her cheeks as he spoke, in the same tone of voice he used to when they were married.

"I miss you" She rasped out. "And I don't know what to do" She rasped as she clung to him. Tom only squeezed her tighter.

"I know" He said as he kissed her head. "Me too" He whispered. Lindsay pulled back to look him in the eyes, and stared in complete shock at the truth she found there. His lips were millimeters away from hers and they seemed to be getting closer, she had a bad feeling of de-ja vo.

"Tom" She whispered. He just moved closer, though this time one thing was different.

"I don't care" Tom whispered, so close to her mouth she could feel his lips brush against hers as they moved. Then he pressed his lip against hers. He was gentle, loving, and soothing. One hand held the side of her neck stroking her soft skin while the other was around her waist holding her close to him. Lindsay's hand ran through his hair while the other stayed on his muscle toned back. When they pulled apart Lindsay stared into his eyes and they sparkled back at her. Tom stroked her cheek.

"I'm still in love with you Lindsay" He whispered. "And I don't know what to do" He said as they both leaned back into the couch and she cuddled into his side as he pulled her down with him.

"I know" Lindsay whispered before closing her eyes. "Me too"


	8. Nighttime Sunshine

**Chapter 6: Nighttime Sunshine**

Jessica woke up to darkness and the dim red glow of her mother's alarm clock. As she pealed her protesting eyelids open the clock read nine thirty PM. She groaned, her mother never woke her up for dinner so now she had a growling stomach. It took Jessica's brain another five seconds of waking up before she realized her mother wasn't lying next to her. She opened the bedroom door as quietly as possible not knowing what she was going to find on the other side of the door. She lightly tiptoed into the living room where she saw two pairs of feet hanging off the edge of the couch. She smiled the biggest grin, she knew anyone that saw her would call her a bloody idiot. She finally walked around to the front of the couch to get a good look at exactly what her parents were doing. Jessica couldn't help but stand there and stare. Tom laid stretched out over the length of the couch on his back with Lindsay squeezed between the back of the couch and Tom and halfway laying on top of him. She had both arms wrapped around his waist, Tom with and arm draped lazily over her shoulders and the other had its fingers laced with Lindsay's. Their legs entangled to the point where Jessica couldn't tell whose were whose. Jessica smiled before she tiptoed back into her room and dug though her bag before pulling out the camera her father had gotten her for her birthday. She snuck back out of the room to take the picture turning off the flash so she didn't wake them, with just enough light coming in from the dining room she snapped a few pictures before grabbing something to eat from the cabinets and sneaking back into her mother's room to go back to bed.

Tom squinted as the bright light flowed in from the living room windows. It took him a couple seconds to realize exactly where he was, then smile because Lindsay was still in his arms. As he looked at her he thought of how stupid he was to ever let her go, how beautiful she looked at this very moment and how much he still loved her. He didn't want to move, he wanted to let her sleep, but he had to figure out what time it was. He lightly unlaced his fingers from Lindsay's and reached for his phone on the coffee table as he flipped it open he frowned as the clock read eleven. He knew he had to wake her, as much as he didn't want to.

"Linz" He said kissing her forehead and brushing a piece of hair out of her face. "Hun, you need to wake up" Lindsay groaned and dug her face into Tom's neck. "Hun," He squeezed her a bit. "It's eleven in the morning you, gotta get up" He said leaning his chin on her head.

"Shit" She mumbled, her lips brushing the skin at the base of Tom's neck while she talked. "Do I have to?" She asked as if she were five.

"Yeah, Hun" He said kissing her forehead again. He could feel her smile into his neck, he knew calling her Hun would raise her spirits a bit, he always called her Honey when they were married and Hun for short, and it always made her smile.

"But I just want to lay here all day and not move" She whispered to where Tom could barely hear her.

"I know, me too" He said as he started stroking her hair. She pulled her head out from his shoulder and laid on his chest, rubbing her fingers across his chest absently. They laid there for another twenty minutes before Lindsay finally decided to get up. They both walked to the door as Lindsay unlocked it and Tom walked out.

"See you at two?" he asked.

"See you at two" Lindsay said back. She shut the door with a small click before she went to walk into wake Jessica, she was halfway there before her door opened again and Tom came back in. She figured Tom had forgotten something until he walked right up to her, he grabbed the back of her neck and pulled her towards him, wrapping her tightly in his arms he placed his lips on hers slowly inviting her to kiss him back, which she did. When they pulled back he smiled at her.

"Sorry Hun, I forgot something" He said. Lindsay smiled at him as he walked back out the door. Lindsay walked in a woke Jessica who groaned then got up to help her with breakfast, both women got showers and got ready then hoped into Lindsay's jeep for the hour-and-a-half drive to the air port.

When Tom walked into the house he waited for Heather to come around the corner with something sharp, but she didn't. He found her sitting in the living room waiting for him. She looked at him with watery eyes as he walked into the living room and sat next to her on the couch. She looked at him.

"Where were you last night?" She asked quietly.

"I stayed at a hotel" He lied. "I didn't think I would be very welcome last night" He continued to lie; he didn't want to hurt her more than he already had.

"Sure" Heather said, as if she debated on weather or not the believe him. They sat there in silence before Heather spoke again. "I want to make this work" She whispered. "We said our vows" Tom looked at her. He wasn't expecting that, he was expecting her to leave him. Once again they sat there in silence; Tom had absolutely no clue what he was going to say. He eventually got up and walked out of the living room turning at the archway to the hall and giving Heather a small nod as she stared at him with pleading eyes. Tom took a shower and got breakfast before he and Heather got in the car for the hour-and-a-half drive to the airport in silence.

As Tom walked into the airport he spotted Lindsay and Jessica waiting patiently, looking at the flight board that said the plane is already in. As they walked up to them Jessica glared at Heather to express her displeasure to her father, Lindsay looked absolutely fine, only Tom noticed that small twitch in her eyes that expressed her anger. As they stood there Tom noticed Lindsay watch Heather timing it just right. As Heather looked away Lindsay leaned over and whispered in his ear.

"I'm not going to let you play with me Tom" She whispered. Just as Tom was about to whisper something back they heard.

"Thomas!" Both Stephanie and Louise walked towards them.

"Hi Mom" Tom said as he hugged his mother. She squeezed him tightly before letting go. Everyone thought she would turn to Heather but she turned to Lindsay.

"Oh Lindsay" She said as she squeezed Lindsay. "I've missed you so much, the whole family does. It's just not the same without you" She said.

"I've missed you too Mom," Lindsay said. "I would have called but I didn't know if it would be a pleasant phone call" Lindsay said.

"Oh, we love you Lindsay it will always be pleasant" She said before letting Lindsay go.

"Hello Heather" She said stiffly making no move to give Heather a hug.

"Hi Louise" Heather returned. Lindsay heard Jessica snort quietly beside her.

"Tommy" Stephanie said hugging her brother tight. "I missed you" She said.

"Steffie" He said returning the hug. "I missed you too, thanks for taking such good care of my baby girl" he said as he let go, Tom went to introduce Heather to his sister, but Stephanie turned to Lindsay.

"Linz" Steph said. Wrapping her arms around Lindsay.

"Hey Steffie," She said. "Boy have we got some girl talk to catch up on" Lindsay said.

"Oh, that's why I'm staying with you, if that's okay" She said.

"I was hoping you would" Lindsay said.

"Is that her?" She whispered in Lindsay's ear.

"Yup" Lindsay replied.

"You're hotter" She whispered. Both women went into fits of giggles as they finally separated.

"And so it begins" Tom muttered as his mother whacked his shoulder. "Heather, this is my sister Steph, and Steffie, this is Heather" He introduced them. Steph quickly gave Heather a once over before shaking her hand and saying hi politely before turning back to Lindsay. Eventually they all made their way back to the parking lot.

"Okay bro, I love you but I'm staying with Lindsay, I missed you but… Well I missed her more, sorry" Both Lindsay and Steph laughed again.

"I'm coming with you Tommy" Louise said.

"You're welcome to come with us Mom" Lindsay offered. Louise winked at her.

"No, no sweetie I'd much rather stay with my Tommy bear" She said. Tom rolled his eyes as Lindsay and Steph fell into their normal positions of ragging on Tom.

"Tommy bear" They both said in mock baby voices doing kiss-y faces. Tom once again just rolled his eyes, Jessica and Louise laughed and Heather just glared.

"Well, how about we take them home and get them settled in then we all meet for dinner at Susie's? About six?" Lindsay asked. Everyone nodded in agreement.

The three women piled into Lindsay's jeep Steph ridding shotgun and Jessica in the back. They started by talking about work and the twins then moved to more fascinating subjects as Lindsay brought up last night without meaning to.

"Uh, I have the worst crick in my neck" Lindsay said rubbing her neck. "I must have slept funny" She said. Jessica laughed.

"This is why she slept funny Aunt Steph" Jessica said as she handed Steph her camera, showing her the picture from last night.

"Lindsay!!" Steph exclaimed. "You little whore!!" she laughed.

"HEY!" Lindsay laughed back. "Look who's talking!!"

"Ladies" Jessica said calmly, and they all fell into fits of giggles. When they were done giggling the conversation once again turned serious.

"So what's happening Lindsay?" Steph asked.

"I really don't know, I wasn't expecting Heather to show up at the airport today, after everything that happened last night" she said.

"What exactly happened last night?" Steph asked.

"Well, Jessica kinda went all out at Heather then kind of let it slip that…" She hesitated. "TomandIslepttoghter" She mumbled out real quick.

"You what?!" Steph exclaimed. "Before or after the wedding?" She questioned.

"Before" Lindsay mumbled.

"Are you out of your mind?" Steph exclaimed. "How could you be so stupid Lindsay ? You slept with him as in sex?! Lindsay incase you didn't know that's BAD!" Steph yelled.

"No need to yell, I get it, it was horrible to do I know" Lindsay said her eyes not leaving the road in front of her.

"It's not all that bad, he misses you Lindsay, and he still loves you, it tells you that" Steph came back.

"He told me that" Lindsay mumbled.

"HE WHAT!?" Both Jessica and Steph exclaimed.

"Last night, after you went to sleep Peanut, I told him I missed him and that I didn't know what to do, and he said I know me too, then he kissed me" Lindsay told them as she stared out the windshield as both of them ogled her. She waited for one of them to say something but they didn't so she continued. "Then he said he was still in love with me and that he didn't know what to do and I said I know me too, then we both fell asleep I guess" Lindsay said, she felt like she was nineteen again telling Steph about her and Tom's first date all over again.

"Lindsay," Steph stared. "Tom's going to get a divorce, and it's not your fault so don't you dare feel bad about it, I'm sure when he walked into his house this morning Heather played the whole I want to make this work we made vows sort of thing, and you know Tom well enough to know that he had absolutely no clue what to say. You and Tom are meant for each other Lindsay, anyone with half a brain notices that, you have been together sense you first met in high school, and neither of you can seem to notice that your still together now, I would bet you the world if I could that every night he goes to sleep he wishes it was you lying next to him, everyone knows you to were meant for each other Lindsay, but you two are the only ones that can't seem to notice it" Lindsay just nodded her head and stared out the windshield watching the rear lights of the car in front of her.

"Thanks, Steffie" Lindsay mumbled. For about a half hour the car was silent just listening to the music from the radio.

"Ha, I wonder what G-mom is putting Heather through right now" Jessica wondered out loud. All three women laughed. "You should see their house Aunt Steph and his cloths she changed him from top to bottom. It's horrible" Jessica said. Her Aunt looked at her through the shade mirror.

"Tom doesn't like change" She commented. Looking at Lindsay.

"Maybe he wanted change" Lindsay said quietly.

"Oh come on Mom, wanting change is one thing, but changing your life style completely is totally different, you know no matter how much change dad wanted he would never pick out those cloths, or decorate his house like **that**" she said with distaste.

"True" Lindsay nodded.

"I agree" Steph said. Looking at Lindsay again, it was about ten minutes before they reached her house and when they finally got there Lindsay got Steph settled in the guest room, and made up the bed and bathroom for her. By the time all this was finished and everyone was ready the three women headed back out the door to Susie's. As they walked in Jessica breathed in the diner smell and smiled.

"I missed this place" She said. Just as she finished she noticed Tom walking towards them.

"Warning mom is on a roll" He said to them sending Lindsay a small smile, she just nodded back. As they walked to the table Lindsay tired with all her might no to smile at the look of pure suffering on Heather's face, she noticed Steph with a small smirk and she heard Jessica snort. Louise looked away from Heather towards them,

"There's my girls" She said with a big smile on her face, she was obviously getting pleasure out of this. "Come on now Lindsay, I want you next to me, we have a lot to catch up on" She smiled. Lindsay smiled back and slid into the booth and sat next to her.

While they waited for their food Lindsay quietly talked to Tom's mother about everything that has been happening to her in the last year and a half many time did she state loudly that Lindsay was loved by the entire family though they all thought both Tom and Lindsay were stupid for separating. Then loudly continued on to say how much the whole family missed her being around. It went on like this for the rest of the afternoon. They parted with plans to get together the next day, Heather declined although she was never really invited.


	9. Sister to Sister

**Chapter 7: Sister to Sister**

That night Jessica, Stephanie, and Lindsay ate ice cream and watched movies until Jessica had finally fell asleep, her entire body curled into a ball on Lindsay's lap. Lindsay cradled Jessica carrying her into her room to get some sleep. When Lindsay got back into the living room Steph had turned off the TV and was sitting on the couch waiting for her. Lindsay had been waiting for this talk, the sister thing that they couldn't have with Jessica there.

"Time to talk sista" Steph said, patting the sofa lightly next to her, smiling.

"I don't like talking" Lindsay said as she slugged her way over to the couch, plopping herself on it with the grace of an elephant. "Do I have to?" she asked, childishly.

"Yes" Steph said. "I'm putting it bluntly, you said you slept together, what made this happen?" Lindsay was happy she just got right to the point instead of dancing around it.

"It was right after this case, with a baby involved, Tom had to pull me pull me out of and interrogation room because the guy told me if I wanted a baby he would give me one, and I punched him… in the face… hard" Steph just nodded her head lightly urging Lindsay to continue. "When I got home I found him sitting on my door step, waiting for me, he told me he got the guy to back off on pressing charges, he followed me upstairs and told me if I wanted to talk… well I didn't, then we talked about Anna" Lindsay's eyes shifted from Stephanie to her hands. "He hugged me, I got upset, and he kissed me, and my whole world flipped upside down, and all I could do was kiss him back Steph" Both women stayed quite for moments, Lindsay fiddling with her hands and Stephanie seemed to be thinking about something. Stephanie finally looked up at Lindsay which caused her to do the same.

"You still love him don't you?" Stephanie asked quietly.

"More than I thought I did" Lindsay whispered, hanging her head lower than it already was.

"I thought so" Lindsay looked up at Steph who had a huge smile on her face. "What happened last night?"

"After Jessica exploded, I guess Tom could tell I was on the edge of my breaking point, Jess went to bed and Tom put his arm around me like he used to when we were in high school, when he knew I had taken more than I can take, he let me cry out everything, then he wiped my tears and he kissed me, and he let me curl up with him and we fell asleep, in the morning he left and two seconds later came back in to give me a kiss goodbye" Lindsay sat on the couch waiting for Stephanie to say something, anything.

"Why did the divorce happen?" Stephanie asked quietly, looking down as if she shouldn't be asking the question. "Tom didn't really explain shit Linz, all of us wanted to know what happened" Stephanie looked up at her again and Lindsay sighed.

"Sometimes, I can't even figure out how it happened, or why, I got my mind wrapped around the kiss me not case, it was an obsession and I can't believe I ever let it come between me and my family" Lindsay stared out the living room window. "We let Jessica go to that school so she wouldn't have to watch us struggle, everyone gave up on that case, but I didn't, when Tom finally gave up I thought he was giving up on me too" She paused, then shifted her vision so that she was staring into space. "It was a Saturday, we had been arguing for what seemed like hours before he left, I didn't think he wanted to leave but I told him to, I was too stubborn to tell him that I did love him, I just let him leave, to stubborn to go after him" Tears fell out of Lindsay's eyes and she swiped them quickly with the back of her hand. "I guess he was just waiting for an opportunity to leave" She whispered, and Stephanie took her hand.

"Now, Linz, I'm sure that's not true" Stephanie said quietly, they sat in silence for awhile.

"When out Lou moved up, everyone one in the department was sure Jacobi was going to get it, then I saw Tom and he said it was him, he kept wanting to talk to me and I didn't want to, when he finally did and it was to tell me he was getting married and I didn't say anything, I just told him that it was great. Really, my heart screamed for me to tell him not to, but I couldn't" She frowned. "He's going to stay with Heather, Steph, I can feel it and I'll be all by myself… again" Another tear fell and she swiped it aggravated they were falling.

"Lindsay, you will never be alone, for one Jessica would never leave you, and Tom is going to leave Heather, he knew he shouldn't have married her to begin with, he loves you Lindsay, that's why he took the job, so he could be closer to you again. He loves you, he always has and he always will, why you two can't see that is beyond my state of mind"

"I don't want to hurt Jessica anymore, she should have never had to go through any of this" Lindsay whispered looking at her picture of Jessica that was on the mantel.

"Linz, it's not your fault Tom didn't tell her" Stephanie tried to reason.

"No Steph, we never should have sent her to your house in the first place, what did she ever do to deserve this kind of hurt?" Stephanie stayed quiet. "I must be he world's worst mother" Lindsay muttered.

"You are not" Stephanie said. "Jessica doesn't want anyone else but you"

"I feel like I'm losing my family… again" Lindsay said. "If Tom wants her back out here she has to live with him, even if she doesn't want to, he can have my custody repealed, and I already lost Tom" Lindsay added quietly.

"You're not losing anyone Lindsay," Stephanie said back. "Everyone is right here, Tom would never take Jessica away from you, you've been divorced for a year and a half and she's still yours and you still have Tom wrapped around your finger" Stephanie turned Lindsay to look at her. "No one is leaving you Linz" Lindsay just looked at her.

"I'm going to bed, wake me if you need anything" Lindsay got up before Stephanie could say anything and went towards her room. As she got to the door and started to open it she realized something was leaning against it on the other side. She pushed it open enough for herself to squeeze through and found Jessica half asleep on the other side with tear stains on her face having heard the whole thing. Lindsay bent down and picked her up, carrying her to put her in bed.

"You're the world's best mother, Mommy. I love you more than anyone else" Jessica whispered hugging Lindsay before she laid down. Lindsay changed quietly before slipping in bed and almost crying herself to sleep. She was almost there before Jessica cuddled up next to her, Lindsay ached to have Tom cuddled next to her, just like when Jessica was little.


	10. Never Was a Stepmother

**Chapter 8: Never Was a Stepmother**

Tom sat in the living room with his mother, neither one of them really talking; Heather had went upstairs and closed the door as soon as they got home. Tom had given his mother and himself a glass of wine and waited for her interrogation to begin.

"Thomas" She began, Tom wanted to grin, her antics were like clockwork.

"Mom" Tom said back. "I know what you're going to say mom, you said the same thing at the wedding" He told her.

"No Tom, at the wedding Lindsay wasn't there, I saw Lindsay, and now I can say what I want to" Tom didn't interrupt just waited for her continue. "I couldn't tell you at the wedding because I didn't know but, I do know now that you and Lindsay still love each other" Tom opened mouth as to say something but Louise held up a hand to stop him. "I'm not stupid Thomas I'm your mother. And I can tell your not happy, even if this whole situation never occurred, you still wouldn't be happy"

"Mom, I don't know what to do" Tom mumbled.

"You do know what to do Thomas, you've always knew what to you just have something called stubbornness, you knew not to leave Lindsay, you knew you should have told Jessica, you knew you should have never married Heather" Louise sighed. "But, Thomas, the decision is yours, stay with Heather, or go back to your family, you know Jessica will not stay here" Louise said.

"Mom, it's not that easy…" Tom started.

"Are you still in love with Lindsay?" She interrupted. Tom stared at her, looking down at his feet, not even having to think about the answer.

"Yes" He said quietly. Not being able to lie to his mother.

"Then it is that easy Thomas" She said standing up. "I'm going to take a walk, I'll be back in a little bit" As she walked out the door Tom leaned back in the couch, he knew exactly what he had to do. He hated himself for ever hurting Lindsay and causing her so much pain. He heard the bedroom door open and Heathers footsteps descend down the stairs. She walked into the living room and sat on the couch across from Tom.

"This isn't going to work is it?" She asked quietly.

"No it's not" Tom replied. She looked at him sharply.

"Okay then" She said, her voice strong. "I'll get the papers and mail them" she said getting up; she decided she would never fight this battle that she so obviously wouldn't win. "I don't know when I'll be around to get my stuff, but I will" Heather stood up and walked quietly to the door, grabbing her bag and the keys to her car, closing the front door with a silent click.


	11. Kisses and Apologies

**Chapter 9: Kisses and Apologies**

Lindsay was tired, she laid in bed her eyes still closed, hoping she would fall back asleep. She had no idea what time it was but she knew she had gotten little sleep; she had been up late before talking to Stephanie. She knew Jessica had gotten up earlier. The bedroom door opened quietly, closing after someone walked though, Lindsay refrained from opening her eyes to see who it was. Lindsay felt the side of the bed sink in front of her, after a moment a hand stroked hair out of her face, a touch that could only belong to Tom.

"I know you're awake" Tom whispered. Lindsay smiled and opened her eyes. "Hey"

"Hey yourself" Lindsay whispered back.

"Late night?" He whispered. Lindsay rolled her eyes and nodded. "Heather's gone" He whispered, Lindsay's smile fell, Tom cupped her cheek. "I'm sorry I ever hurt you Linz, so much, you never deserved all the pain and I hate myself for putting you through it. I knew I would always love you and I was too stubborn to come back from walking out on that fight, I'm not going to hurt you again Linz, I want to make it through this, I know we can make it through this" Tom whispered, silent tears leaked from Lindsay's eyes and he wiped them away. "I love you Linz"

"I love you too, Tom" Lindsay whispered back, brushing her lips against his.


	12. Epiloge

**Epilogue: Everything You Want.**

As Lindsay walked up the stairs to her LT's office, she couldn't

really say she was all that happy to be back at work. She had a million things to catch up on from her time off, thousands of files to fill and she had just filled half of them and was now taking them to her LT; she had forgotten how much paper work she did in one week and all the files she had just finished were from when she wasn't working. She stopped in the doorway of her LT's office and watched him as he talked on the phone not realizing she was there. Lindsay stood there waiting quietly for her LT to notice her standing there. When he finally said goodbye to what sounded like the chief he glanced up surprised to see her there and let a huge smile spread across his face, his eyes sparkled.

"Hello Inspector" he said smiling slyly at her, she smirked back. "Welcome back. Have a seat. Good vacation?" Instead of taking a seat in one of the two seats across from his desk she perched herself on the edge of his desk right in front of him, he smiled at her and she handed him the manila folder in her hands.

"It was great. Reports from my week off that my partner wasn't capable of doing" She smiled at him as he smiled widely at her dry humor. She smirked at him and hopped off his desk and began to walk out of the office, as she got to the door she turned to smile at him then continued out of the office.

"Inspector Hogan" He called after her, she turned back into the room and gave him a dazzling smile, her eyes sparkling like the sun. She walked about a foot into his office letting the door close behind her.

"Yes Lieutenant Hogan?" She asked him, her eyes sparkling with a new found mischief. He stood up and pointed at her, then pointed at the floor directly in front of him. She smirked walking towards him stopping about an inch from actually touching him, teasing him just so slightly. He snaked an arm around her placing his hand on the small of her back, pressing her body to his. She left her arms dangling at her sides pretending to not be interested.

"You go on vacation for a week, without your husband I might add, take our daughter to Rose Cottage, a place you know said husband loves, and when you come back you come strait to work without stopping to see before mentioned husband because he might have I don't know missed his wife?" He ran a hand through her long thick brown locks. She smiled.

"Are you mad honey?" She asked as she wrapped both her arms around his torso.

"Just missing my wife" He smiled as he moved in to kiss her, so close that she could feel the movements of his lips against hers as he talked, then pulled the back of her neck towards her to kiss her lightly before she pulled back.

"Really? Because that wife just happens to be home now, and is very much so missing her husband" She said placing another kiss on his lips.

"Oh come on, get a room!" A voice said as Tom's door flew open. Tom and Lindsay both turned their heads to smile at their daughter.

"I thought we were in a room, Jessica" Tom smiled. Jessica made fake gagging motions. Lindsay's phone then began beeping. She unwrapped her arms from Tom to answer it; he still kept his arms tightly around her.

"Hogan?...mhm…okay…okay, be there in a few" she said then snapped the phone shut. She leaned her head into Tom's chest. "I have to go" she looked back up at him and frowned. She went to give him a quick peck on the lips before leaving but he pulled her tightly to him again. He smirked and placed his cheek against hers.

"Later Hun?" He whispered and kissed the skin right in front of her ear. She giggled.

"Of course" She replied nipping lightly at his ear.

"Go" he said gruffly as she once again nipped at his ear, she knew he was stifling a groan. She nibbled at his ear once again and giggled. "Don't start something you can't finish woman" he whispered, she giggled one last time and pulled back to give him one more kiss. He put more passion into this one hinting to her just what would be waiting for her when she got home. She felt his tongue swipe at her lower lip when Jessica decided to interrupt.

"Ew! Come on! Seriously!" Lindsay just pecked Tom's lips once more before walking out of the office, hearing Tom's laugher as she walked down the stairs. Her phone beeped in her pocket and she pulled it out to look at the screen.

My Man.

Jessica had changed it to that after Heather was gone, Lindsay never really wanted to change it back. She opened her phone pulling it to her ear as she grabbed her car keys from her desk.

"Yes Honey?" she smiled.

"Hey" His voice came back through the speaker. She could hear the smile in his voice. "I forgot something" he said, she could tell his eyes were sparkling even through the phone.

"And what was that?" She said walking out to her jeep.

"I love you Lindsay" His voice purred out. She smiled.

"I love you too, Tom" She purred back as she climbed into the driver's seat of her jeep.

It wasn't an easy road and it sure as hell wasn't a short one. They had come so far to ever turn back. They have loved each other ever sense he sat down next to her on that first day of Biology class and asked to borrow a pencil, and they would love each other until they took their last breath. It wouldn't be easy, but it would sure as hell be worth it.


End file.
